November 14th marked the last day that I breastfed my son. Ending our journey was harder than I thought it would be and I didn't feel emotional about it until two days later when I realized it really was over. I am beyond happy that I was able to not only meet my goal of 12 months but I also made it 2 extra months. I did it! I made it through one of the toughest thing Mother's have to go through in life and here I am at the finish line. But why am I so sad?
After a few weeks, breastfeeding became a little easier. I had took up on Pumping every 2 hours very easily and my milk was coming in wonderfully. I already built up a good stock pile of breast-milk in my fridge and I had plans of donating to other mom's in need. I felt proud that I was able to not only pump and feed Kambryn from a bottle but that he was still latching onto my breast very well. I would switch every feeding between my breast and a bottle. Things were going great.
4 Month into breastfeeding, Kambryn decided that he wanted to stop feeding from my breast and only drink breast-milk from a bottle. Every time I would put him to my breast, he would scream and cry and kick and scratch. I would get so frustrated after trying over and over again that I would just give up and give him the bottle. The crying and frustration that I felt in the beginning found it's way back into my heart and I again, felt like such a horrible mother. But the thing was, I wasn't being a horrible mother. I was still able to give my baby breast-milk despite the fact that he just preferred a bottle. If only the world could see that no matter what, as long as your child is fed and healthy and loved, your doing a wonderful job.
So from 4 months until 14 months, I pumped breast-milk for my son. I luckily had no issue with pumping and was able to supply enough milk for my baby boy. We had a tough journey but even though I mainly pumped through out the process, I am still extremely proud that I was able to stick with it and give my son what I personally choice to be the best source of food for him. We've hardly dealt with any sickness and he has grown like a weed. He went from a 5 pound 11 ounce teeny tiny thing to a big 21 pound one year old. I am proud. I did that. My body was able to nourish my son for 14 months and that is something I will always be very proud about.
I did it! I made it! And I'm sad to stop. I loved the bond it created between the two of us and I loved knowing that he was getting my milk, full of all the good things he needed. The last week or so I was only pumping 3 ounces and after my son would get done drinking the 3 ounces before bed, he would scream and cry. I thought, why give him any at all if he was going to be so upset. So I took it as a sign to stop our journey. I chose to stop and yet I am having such a hard time letting go. But I know it is for the best and I'm sure all mom's can relate, but it will be so nice to have my breast to myself again and not have to work my own schedule around pumping.
It helped the most to have a huge support group of friends and family who have stood by me, encouraged me, and praised me for breastfeeding and pumping for Kambryn. I wouldn't of been able to make it this far if it weren't for them. It also helps to surround yourself with other moms who are going through the same thing or have advice to give. I joined a group on Facebook called "Fancy Pumpers" that was a God send. If your an expecting mom or breastfeeding mom, I encourage you to look them up and join.
I did it. 14 months of breastfeeding and I am proud! I just wanted to write a post in the remembrance and celebration of meeting my goal. If your a breastfeeding Mom and are struggling with breastfeeding, don't give up. You got this Mama and surround yourself with the support you need and deserve to help push you to get through this. Even if your unable to breastfeed, as long as you try you best you are doing an amazing job. Fed is best! And to the Mom's who have met their goals or even still breastfeeding past your goals, YOU ROCK! Keep on going until you and your little one decide when it is time to stop. I am so happy to have joined in the sisterhood of motherhood. <3
-India
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