Past Me:
This girl here looks so tired, doesn't she. *Insert Eye Roll* I thought working full time and going to college full time at this moment ^ was the hardest time in my life. HA! Even though that was a hard and stressful time in my life, I had no idea how hard parenthood would be. I had such big plan for when I became a mother.
I was going to work and provide for my family as I had as a wife. Dinner was going to be made and everything was going to be healthy. I wouldn't allow my child to have any sugar or grease filled foods. I was going to plan a fun family activity once a week for us to all do together and not let my son watch TV or play with cellphones. I would keep my entire house clean, assigning a cleaning chore to do each day. I wasn't going to "go out" with friends because my life would be all about family. My husband and I would split the work 50/50. I mean, the list goes on and on. Not that this list couldn't become reality but as a mom now, I want to go back in time and laugh at my young non-dark circle face because I had no idea what motherhood was all about.
Mom Me:
(I laugh every time I see this photo. Is this not what Mom Life looks and feels like sometimes?)
I feed my kid as healthy as I can. He is currently eating cut up pieces of chicken, cheese bites, wheat bread, and strawberries. You know what I had, two chocolate chip cookies and a half a glass of milk. At least my kid is eating healthy, right? As far as no sugar, HA! I try my hardest to ignore his frustrating cries because he is wanting what I am eating but then I snap and just share whatever I am eating, which was cookies this morning. As far as activities go, we pop popcorn and watch movies to have a nice quite evening as a family. That is a fun night for us these days. Every once in a while we will go out in town but it is more of a struggle with a child. I play the Netflix show "Story Bots" daily in this house because it is the only thing that will keep my son happy and good so I can get some work done.
House work? I have to wait until my husband is home from work most of the time and then I am lucky if I can get most of the cleaning done. I at least make sure there is nothing in the floor that my son would put in his mouth and choke on. I do work as a Photographer but this means most of my job is done at home. Being a mother comes first which means my work gets done depending on my child's mood. My husband works, comes home and cooks, plays with my son for an hour or two, and goes to sleep. He does help me a lot on the weekends but work nights, nope, it's mainly all on mom. So that 50/50 work plan..... that was wishful thinking.
It's hard you guys, being a mom. It is way harder than I could ever imagine. It's even harder being a stay at home mom, just in my opinion, because I don't get a break. Not even to go to the bathroom. But I signed up on this life, knowing that this could happen. I might of had these big expectations of how I wanted my life to be but it doesn't work out that way. As a mother, our lives revolves around our kids and that is how it is suppose to be.
Sometimes the housework doesn't get done because you have a teething baby who just wanted to be held all day. Dinner is cold pizza or date night had to be canceled. Things never go as planned when it comes to parenthood and that is okay. It doesn't mean your a horrible mom if you allow your child to watch TV just so you can have a moment to yourself.
I have learnt that taking care of YOU is just as important as taking care of your child. There were days that I felt like I was going to snap and I just had to take a moment to myself. I would let my Husband watch my son for a few hours and I would go grocery shopping by myself or meet a friend for lunch. It doesn't sound like much but having a moment for ME is needed every once in a while. It allows me to come back home in a better mood and continued my day.
I guess my whole point of this very messy ranting post is to say that before we start a family, we have these big plans and outlooks on how our life is suppose to go. And when it doesn't turn out that way we become frustrated and feel like we are doing something wrong. That is not the case. Life happens the way it is meant to happen and as long as you love your child with everything you have, try your hardest at being a mom, and even make sure your taken care of, you'll be just fine. Your a wonderful Mother and don't you ever tell yourself otherwise.
We are our worst critics and I feel like we all need to take a moment and be the person who picks ourselves back up. Give yourself a pep talk in a mirror or take a step back and breath. What ever you have to do to collect yourself and don't allow life's struggles to break you down. I hope all my Mom Friends can find this post relate-able, maybe share a chuckle or two with me, and know that we have all been there and you are not alone.
We got this, Mamas!
xoxo
India
Ps. I love the craziness and amazing love that Motherhood has brought to me. Even though it is tough, I wouldn't trade this life for anything else in this world. How Lucky am I do be this silly loving boy's mom? Even if he drives me batty sometimes lol.
No comments